My life was devastated by abortion. Getting pregnant at an early age, I thought I
had no other choice.
At the abortion facility, I was told it was only a blob of tissue, and it would be safer
to abort then to carry to term. I would later find out that was a lie.
I lay on the cold table, with no anesthetic for the intense pain, staring at the ceiling,
wanting it to end. It seemed to last forever and no amount of anesthetic could dull
the pain in my heart and mind.
Vacuum aspiration was the method used for my abortions. I could hear the
increased labor of the suction machine when parts or limbs of my baby were being
extracted. Each time I tried to look at the jar with my baby’s remains, they would
push me back down. I still hear that haunting suction sound.
On the drive home I was in extreme pain and bleeding profusely. I called the abortion facility for help, but was told; I needed to call my own physician. I was too afraid and ashamed to call anyone. As I lay in bed that night, I wondered if I would die.
A part of me did die that day. I realized I would never hold or see that child so I became angry and depressed. I started drinking heavily; doing drugs, and became very promiscuous. I hated myself and didn’t think anyone would love me unless I gave them sex in return. I got pregnant two more times and choose abortion each time.
With each abortion my addictions got worse. I even attempted suicide three times. My life was a mess and spiraling out of control.
Years later, with the loving witness of my parents, I made a good choice. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I later met and married a wonderful man. After trying to start a family with no success, we learned I was infertile because of the abortion procedures.
I had to tell my husband, because of the bad choices I made; he would never have his own biological children.
"Everyday I live with the reality that the only children I will ever bear I killed."
I am still living with the effects of those abortions. At age 41, I had a hysterectomy because of the damage caused from the suction procedure.
I regret the “choice” I made to have those abortions. I often think about my three children and who they would have been. Abortion didn’t solve my problems, it only created more. I am still a mother; however my three children are dead.
I praise God that he has turned my pain into passion. He has forgiven me and set me free from the shame, guilt, and heartache of my past.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things are passed away; behold new things have come.”
Luana has been married to Steve since 1985 and they have an adopted son, Zachary.
She’s an international speaker who has shared her story in several documentaries, Today’s Christian Woman magazine, The Early Show, The 700Club, and many radio programs, including, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. She’s been interviewed by USA Today and quoted in several newspapers.
Luana’s heart is to show the love and mercy of Christ, by telling people how the Lord picked her up from a life of drugs, alcohol and abortions, and placed her on his lap of grace.